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    April 05

    就是这样

    就这样恍惚了一个月
    生活就是这样
    重复了一遍又一遍
    彩色也逐渐变成黑白
     
    这个就叫习惯
     
    我认为我很释然
    其实
    并不是这样
     
    我也认为我很喜新厌旧
    其实
    也不是这样
     
    那么是怎样?
    其实
    我也不了解自己
    很可笑
     
    今天终于体会到了一种感觉
    有缘无分的感觉
    很真实
    当然 也有一点错愕
    其实生活很平淡,也很痛苦。痛苦的是我必须为找工作犯愁,为论文担忧,虽然这种担忧也仅仅是再表面而已。
    比人常说,人生要有追求,我很赞同,但是,真的努力追求了,就会有好的结局吗?我不敢苟同。
    平淡的生活让我越来越庸俗,也越来越讨厌这样的自己 ,但是我却改变不了什么,这就是生活。
    越来越怀念学校的生活,怀念过去的我们,仅仅只是还念 ,因为如今所有的一切已经物是人非了。
    我很渴望找到中意的那个他,可是茫茫人海中我却再次迷失了。
    有这样一句话“年轻时,我们用尽全力去爱,所以才让彼此遍体鳞伤。长大后,我们却失去了去爱的勇气,因为我们害怕被伤害。”
    人就是这样,所以轰轰烈烈的爱情只会出现在小说中。
    我怀念过去的自己,那时我很幸福,比现在幸福100倍1000倍。
    但是就因为太早的幸福,才让我们如今遍体鳞伤。
    只希望你记得我,同样,你也会一直再我记忆的深处。我曾经爱过你。
     

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